I accidently just spent 30 minutes looking at pictures of Beyonce.
I don’t even look at pictures of my baby that long. I mean… My baby is cute and all but she ain’t no Beyonce…
Actually I am really relieved my baby isn’t Beyonce because that would cause some awkward questions about paternity. Plus I would not have been able to push all that hair and booty out my body. I’m too skinny and frail. Let’s be real.
So I’m house-sitting right now, and that means I have cable for a week. We are too cheap and snobby (“Oh we don’t have cable…we read really long books and discuss jazz.”) to have cable at our apartment. I’m doing this properly, too. I am so involved in the Real Housewives lives, I am starting to genuinely neglect my family. “Ok… Great, husband….Yeah I care about your hopes and dreams, I guess. But what about Gretchen and Tamra!? Will they ever end this tension?” “Yeah, Madelyn, you said your first word. If it isn’t ‘NeNe’ or ‘BravoTV’, I don’t care.”
I would watch anything on Bravo. I’d watch “When presidents poop” without shame.
It is amazing what we will distract ourselves with. I watch other people live instead of really living, myself. That really is why we ditched cable at out apartment. It was taking too much time away from our family. Between Matt’s obsession with zombie shows and my fascination with the drama of rich douchebags, we don’t even see each others genitals when cable tv is involved… Much less use them on each other (awkward description of sex…sorry).
I just thought I would let you know that my husband and I are not boning this week due to prior engagements with cable television. I figured you cared…
Ok my daughter is currently in an epic battle with the curtains. The curtains are winning. I have to go help.
-real housewife of someone else’s house while I house-sit (aka. Katlyn)