I just want to be glamorous.
I just want to be a hippie.
I just want to be rich.
I just want to live simply.
I just want a lot of things, people. And they are all conflicting wants. I always want something when the act of wanting it makes me a better person than someone else.
Por ejemplo (spanish for: “For Example”. I also like using Spanish to make me look more cultured( (aka better)) than people that can’t speak spanish), when a couple of hippies walk by and bump into me because they are so effing stoned that they can’t see that there is in fact a thing called reality existing in front of them, I just want to be a put-together wealthy responsible business owner who looks upon those hippies with disgust because I am a productive, successful, well-mannered member of society and they are lazy and naive.
BUT if I see a couple of rich bitches and they bump into me because they are too busy sending emails on their smart phones and trying not to fall while prancing around in 17 inch $300 shoes, I just want to be a peace-loving, simple hippie (who occasionally smokes weed… not that I have any idea what it is like because I have never smoked weed… ((I have))) who doesn’t live a life controlled by a need for a superficial success that never leaves one feeling fulfilled.
BUT when I see a black guy who happens to be wearing “urban” attire and he bumps into me, I just want to smile and appear as un-annoyed (YES THAT IS A WORD!) to look as non-racist as possible…..
sorry. that seems a bit off-topic…
Sometimes, I realize that I am racist in my pursuits to appear non-racist. LET’S BE REAL MOTHAFUCKAS! Sometimes we go out of our way to make sure someone knows we aren’t racist, which is, in fact, racist. I think I just so badly want melanin in my skin that I have a deeply rooted envy of black people and that envy makes me resent them and kind of hate them so I overcompensate and take African American Studies classes when I was in college (awkward change of tenses there, Katlyn.) It’s not like I want to make them sit on the back of a bus and drink from shitty water fountains. I just want to have melanin!
I am afraid I’m going to get shot in a drive-by shooting because of this post…
NOT BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE ALL COMMIT DRIVE-BY SHOOTINGS! I wasn’t thinking a black person was going to shoot me, ya racist! I am worried that a rich bitch with a smart phone or a grungy hippie is going to shoot me! It’s ok to hate rich bitches and hippies as long as they are white…
The racism in this post is beyond my control. I think I have gone too far…
I’m sorry. Luckily not many black people will read this post.
NOT BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE CAN’T READ!!! BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW MANY BLACK PEOPLE!
NOT BECAUSE I HATE BLACK PEOPLE! BECAUSE I LIVE IN A TOWN OF RED NECKS!
NOT THAT EVERYONE IN TENNESSEE IS RED NECK!
No…. wait… that’s true. Everyone in Tennessee is a red neck.
I should go.